It is amazing what drugs will do (the good kind I mean!)
I have been sick off and on since Halloween! I was diagnosed with a sinus infection PLUS more recently I caught the virus my husband has been incubating and came down with a sore throat. Now any of you that know me know that the MINUTE I get sick. I lose my voice. So yes, since Halloween I have sounded like a 70 year old lifelong smoker.
I can't wait to get my real voice back!!!
In other news - everything in my kitchen and bathroom has been disinfected! My hands are red and ugly looking but hopefully I have killed the majority of the germs around here. I am also forcing everyone to label their glasses/cups in the frig - which the girls just "love".
Praying to soon be infection & virus-free,
Reen
Friday, February 15, 2008
Monday, February 11, 2008
Ah...I dream it every day. Every night it's the same.
I dream of a small place of my own. It doesn't have to look like much but it would have all my favorite things: my comfy gold chair, my drawing table and supplies, scrapbooking stuff, my pillow, Bath & Body Works lavender pillow spray, pics of people I miss greatly and that's about it.
Of course, clothes, shoes etc... but I just want quiet. Peace and quiet.
why, Why, WHY can't anyone UNDERSTAND THAT?????
Reen
I dream of a small place of my own. It doesn't have to look like much but it would have all my favorite things: my comfy gold chair, my drawing table and supplies, scrapbooking stuff, my pillow, Bath & Body Works lavender pillow spray, pics of people I miss greatly and that's about it.
Of course, clothes, shoes etc... but I just want quiet. Peace and quiet.
why, Why, WHY can't anyone UNDERSTAND THAT?????
Reen
Thursday, February 07, 2008
They are ALL takers! Every last one of them!
It has come to my attention during my latest sleepless night that EVERY single person in my life is a "taker". Here is an excerpt from http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
"The Giver is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make the other person happy and avoid anything that makes the other person unhappy, even if it makes you unhappy. It's the part of you that wants to make a difference in the lives of others, and it grows out of a basic instinct that we all share, a deep reservoir of love and concern for those around us. But the Giver is only half of the story. The other half is the Taker. It's the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make yourself happy and avoid anything that makes yourself unhappy, even if it makes others unhappy. It's the part of you that wants the most out of life, and it grows out of your basic instinct for self-preservation."
That explains it perfectly.
Work, animals, family. All takers.
Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love doing what I do, (and the people I work with are not takers) but being a "business" and in the "business" to make money - there is always some taking. But they also give a lot too so work is NOT my major complaint. Animals - they give too. I can tell they appreciate the food, the snacks and the loving. Family is a totally different story.
Example: one family member runs late all the time. This is just a fact of life. We have come to accept that as a fact of life. We don't like it but we work around it. It is winter here and winter means frozen windows, snow etc... You HAVE to start your car and let it run. Period. So husband and I do this FOR her and there is NEVER a thank you or even a "kiss my butt". So being the Scorpio / spiteful person I am - I quit doing it. Start you own car, be late - what do I care.
Example: Other child does not speak to us. She clearly hates us. There is no eye contact. No matter what we do we are imbeciles. Actually neither child really speak to us unless we talk first.
I am beginning to think this whole family thing was a big mistake. The above examples are just a few of the many daily, hourly times that taking happens.
Now anyone reading this will immediately think I am the big whiner - but this has gone on for EIGHT years now. My significant other would rather yell/scream at me because a dog is whining to go out and he CAN'T be bothered to stop playing his precious internet game for 2 minutes to take the dog pee while I am doing homework with our foster child or putting clothes away etc... Don't think I have come to this decision to leave lightly. I have not. There is not one thing that gives me joy anymore and that answer USED to be my family. Now I can't stand to be around them because they suck the life out of me. I would rather die right now than spend an evening with them at home! Not joking. I am a Christian and I have tried doing some reasearch on suicide. I know that killing myself now would go against the body being a temple. But I don't want to be here anymore.
Leaving and sleeping in the van would be an option but husband actually would know that license plate and I am sure he would call police.
I guess I am just waiting for the leeches to leave me for dead.
neeR
It has come to my attention during my latest sleepless night that EVERY single person in my life is a "taker". Here is an excerpt from http://www.marriagebuilders.com/
"The Giver is the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make the other person happy and avoid anything that makes the other person unhappy, even if it makes you unhappy. It's the part of you that wants to make a difference in the lives of others, and it grows out of a basic instinct that we all share, a deep reservoir of love and concern for those around us. But the Giver is only half of the story. The other half is the Taker. It's the part of you that follows the rule: do whatever you can to make yourself happy and avoid anything that makes yourself unhappy, even if it makes others unhappy. It's the part of you that wants the most out of life, and it grows out of your basic instinct for self-preservation."
That explains it perfectly.
Work, animals, family. All takers.
Now don't get me wrong. I love my job. I love doing what I do, (and the people I work with are not takers) but being a "business" and in the "business" to make money - there is always some taking. But they also give a lot too so work is NOT my major complaint. Animals - they give too. I can tell they appreciate the food, the snacks and the loving. Family is a totally different story.
Example: one family member runs late all the time. This is just a fact of life. We have come to accept that as a fact of life. We don't like it but we work around it. It is winter here and winter means frozen windows, snow etc... You HAVE to start your car and let it run. Period. So husband and I do this FOR her and there is NEVER a thank you or even a "kiss my butt". So being the Scorpio / spiteful person I am - I quit doing it. Start you own car, be late - what do I care.
Example: Other child does not speak to us. She clearly hates us. There is no eye contact. No matter what we do we are imbeciles. Actually neither child really speak to us unless we talk first.
I am beginning to think this whole family thing was a big mistake. The above examples are just a few of the many daily, hourly times that taking happens.
Now anyone reading this will immediately think I am the big whiner - but this has gone on for EIGHT years now. My significant other would rather yell/scream at me because a dog is whining to go out and he CAN'T be bothered to stop playing his precious internet game for 2 minutes to take the dog pee while I am doing homework with our foster child or putting clothes away etc... Don't think I have come to this decision to leave lightly. I have not. There is not one thing that gives me joy anymore and that answer USED to be my family. Now I can't stand to be around them because they suck the life out of me. I would rather die right now than spend an evening with them at home! Not joking. I am a Christian and I have tried doing some reasearch on suicide. I know that killing myself now would go against the body being a temple. But I don't want to be here anymore.
Leaving and sleeping in the van would be an option but husband actually would know that license plate and I am sure he would call police.
I guess I am just waiting for the leeches to leave me for dead.
neeR
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